Hey, fam! How y’all doing?
For those of you who are new to the space, I’m Bri. Welcome to the Living Room, where we spill tea and turn our lemons into lemonade. As always, come on in and get your wine, your coffee, your “something stronger” if that’s what you need (‘cuz that’s your business), and let’s get into it.
Some of the old saints (and I use that term loosely) used to say that you should never question God. You should just accept whatever happens, whatever He says, and whatever He does without question or feeling any type of way about it (except good).
I’ve come to realize that this was one of those church sayings that sounded real good, and made some people sound real holy, but it wasn’t realistic.
I refuse to believe that God gave us common sense (admittedly, some have more than others) and the ability to think without intending for us to use those capabilities.
The reality is that there are some situations, like job losses, divorces, and other perceived failures, that will have you thinking:
What is going on?
Why is this happening to me?
And, if we’re really being honest, sometimes you’ll just want to admit to God that you’re outright pissed off about whatever it is. It’s ok if you can’t admit this to anyone, or even yourself. I’ll be honest about it even if you can’t…if you won’t.
This was me.
My outward expressions were as calm and neutral as they usually are, and didn’t give any indication of my annoyance. Inwardly, though, there was a storm going on inside of me. My emotions were in a constant back-and-forth between me trying to calm the winds and me allowing the waves of anger to rise inside of me.
And, then the thought hit me: God, how dare you?
How dare you set me up for this embarrassment?
How dare you allow this person to mistreat me?
How dare you allow me to endure all of this for nothing?
But, God, I pray, I treat people well, I do not dishonor those who mistreat me, I try to walk upright, I (this, this, that, and that)…How could you leave me out here like this?
*You fill in those questions with whatever applies to you, but you know exactly what I’m talking about. *
Then, like the good Father I’ve experienced Him to be, He didn’t give in to my temper tantrum or check me in anger.
Praise the Lord that He doesn’t match our energy when we’re out-of-pocket.
He just dropped in my spirit: “You either trust Me or you don’t.”
Isn’t it just like God to say so much without saying much at all?!
Y’all know what I did next, right?
I immediately went to Scripture to verify what I’d just felt/experienced.
I don’t just tell y’all to filter everything through the Word and not do it myself. I practice what I preach most of the time…ok, sometimes. Anyway, moving on.
*pushes glasses to nose*
If you will, secure your Bibles and turn with me to Hebrews chapter 12, verses 1-3:
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
*looks over glasses* Chile, I know you missed that Word because you read it too fast. Go on back and read it again.
I don’t even have to tell y’all that this scripture humbled me, but it was the correction I needed.
While I was so focused on what I’d endured and what I felt like I’d sacrificed, I’d forgotten four vital truths: (These are my lessons from the low, by the way)
- God doesn’t owe me anything. Everything that I do for Him is not because He needs it, it’s because He deserves it.
- No sacrifice I’ve made can compare to the ultimate sacrifice made by Jesus when He endured the cross on my behalf. Meanwhile, most of my sacrifices have been (what?) delayed gratification, a few dollars, and some hours…? And, even then, He always gives me back more than what I gave…? Be humble, sit down.
- God never asked you to like your race, He asked you to run it (in other words, be obedient to His will) and to do so with perseverance. That’s it. That’s all. As my mother used to say, He’s “not one of your lil’ friends.” You don’t have to like His instructions, but you MUST follow them.
- If your eyes are fixed solely on your desires and goals, they’re not fixed on Jesus, where they should be. So the real question to ask yourself when you’re in turmoil or upset with God about what He assigned or allowed is: What are you looking at?
Needless to say, my tantrum didn’t last long…
BUT,
I think it’s important that we know…truly know…that God is not moved or offended by our emotions. In fact, whether we say it or not, He already knows how we’re feeling and what we’re thinking.
Now, I’m NOT telling anyone to curse God…PLEASE don’t do that.
I AM saying, however, that you shouldn’t be afraid to be honest with Him.
He’s not your parents or relatives or authority figures who are offended at the slightest hint of you being angry or frustrated. He’s the God who sees you, and has pursued you from the very beginning even when He knew that you would not always choose Him.
He’s not after this perfect, never angry, never negative version of yourself you like to give to the world. After all, that’s not even the real you; it’s a lie. He’s after the you that you won’t show anyone…the you that has unresolved anger…the you that’s hurting…the you that questions Him. He’s after your heart.
So, yes, I dared to question God. I dared to let Him know that I was angry. And, you know what? He met me there…with love…with grace…with correction…like the perfect father He is.
Let the church say Amen.
Photo Cred: Photo by Avery Evans on Unsplash